When planning your wedding as an LGBTQ+ couple, one of the most exciting aspects is making the celebration uniquely yours. Wedding traditions can serve as beautiful symbols of love and commitment, but they don’t always fit every couple perfectly. As you plan your special day, consider which traditions to keep, adapt, or skip altogether to create a celebration that truly reflects your relationship. Here’s a guide to help you navigate these decisions:
The proposal
The proposal is often the first tradition couples encounter. Traditionally, one partner proposes to the other with a ring. However, as an LGBT couple, you might choose to adapt this by both proposing to each other, either simultaneously or at different times, making the moment even more special and meaningful. Alternatively, you might skip the proposal entirely and simply set your wedding date!
Engagement rings are another tradition you can personalize. Instead of one partner wearing an engagement ring, both partners can wear rings or choose another symbolic piece of jewelry that feels meaningful. Or you might decide to wait until the wedding to exchange wedding bands, skipping engagement rings altogether.
Walking down the aisle
Walking down the aisle can be adapted to suit your preferences. Instead of one partner waiting at the altar while the other walks down the aisle, you have so many options to choose from. You can walk down the aisle together and share that moment with each other. You can also each walk down with a parent or significant person in your lives. If this tradition doesn’t resonate with you, we recommend starting the ceremony with both partners already standing together at the altar.
The wedding party
When it comes to the wedding party, traditional roles of bridesmaids and groomsmen can be redefined. It’s actually so common today! Create a “wedding party” with any combination of friends and family, regardless of gender, to stand by both partners. Or, skip having a wedding party altogether and focus the ceremony solely on yourselves.
Vows
Vows are a deeply personal part of the ceremony. Instead of reciting traditional vows, consider writing personal vows that reflect your journey together and your commitment to each other. Alternatively, skip individual vows and recite a mutual vow together, symbolizing your equal partnership. You may also choose to have a private vow reading moment between just the two of you before the ceremony.
Special dances
The first dance is a special moment that can be tailored to your preferences. Start with a dance together, then invite all couples to join you on the dance floor. If the first dance doesn’t appeal to you, skip it altogether and spend that time mingling with your guests.
Parent dances can also be personalized. Instead of the traditional mother/son or father/daughter dances, dance with whoever is meaningful to you. Whether it’s a sibling, parent, grandparent, or friend, choose whoever is significant in your lives. You can also do both dances at the same time rather than do them separately. And if this tradition doesn’t suit you, skip the parent dances altogether or invite your favorite people to dance as a group.
Cake cutting
Cake cutting is a tradition you can skip altogether—unless it holds special meaning for you. Many couples today opt for dessert tables filled with their favorite sweet treats. Others prefer a small cake for a private cutting ceremony on the side. Some even choose to have a dessert served directly to their guests by the caterers.
Getting ready
The moments leading up to your wedding ceremony can set the tone for your entire day. Whether you get ready with your wedding party, alone, or with your partner, each option offers a unique experience. Getting ready with your wedding party allows for lively, supportive interactions and shared memories, while preparing alone provides quiet reflection and self-care. Sharing the process with your partner creates a deeply intimate and special experience, allowing you to support each other and create meaningful moments together. Ultimately, choose the option that makes you feel most comfortable as you prepare for your special day.
Formal portraits
Weddings can be personalized in countless ways, and the photos on your special day are no exception. There’s no need to take the same staged formal group portraits as everyone else. Many couples today are opting for more authentic, candid photos with their families and wedding parties. Consider heading to your favorite bar and spending time getting drinks and looking classy with your loved ones. Let your photographer document these moments of you simply enjoying quality time with your favorite people. And when it comes to couples portraits, focus on being in the moment and forget the overly posed photos. Hold your partner’s hand, take in the moment, and just be present with one another.
Do what feels authentic to you
Planning a wedding as an LGBTQ+ couple offers the opportunity to redefine traditions and create a celebration that is authentically yours. By thoughtfully considering which traditions to keep, adapt, or skip, you can craft a wedding day that truly reflects your love story and values. Remember, the most important thing is that your wedding feels true to who you are as a couple. Embrace the freedom to make your own traditions and enjoy every moment of your special day.
